Top 40 hits that make me facepalm

It’s always amusing – and facepalmy – when a song with stupid lyrics makes it to the Top 40.

What’s worse is when the lyrics are in equal parts stupid and disrespectful. It’s as if the lyricists don’t have two braincells to rub together.

What if we swapped the genders – make the women the singers and the men featured in the lyrics – would we see them for what they really are? Here’s a sample of upended lyrics from some fine tunes that hit the top of the charts this year – that’s 2012, not 1962.

Whistle – by Flo Rida
I’m betting you love creep mode, and I’m betting you like boys that give love to boys, and stroke your little ego

The moral: Men like boys that give love to boys. It strokes their egos, hard.

Turn All The Lights On – by T Pain
This must be his song, dancing like ain’t nobody else in here, Sexy as he wanna be and he dancing so close to me. I said ‘please excuse you steppin’ on expensive shoes’. He is a perfect ten, this angelic body made you sin. I love the way you get it in, come over here and shake it for a lady – cause you want it

The moral: It turns out men actually really WANT to dance in front of leering women! And true ladies want men to “shake it”. Just mind my shoes, pet. They be pricey.

Sorry For Party Rocking – LMFAO
When I’m in the club, sippin bub, really drunk, and I see a guys ass, gotta have it. I’ma grab it.

The moral: If you’re drunk, just grab some random ass. No one minds.

International Love – Pitbull
I’ve been to countries and cities I can’t pronounce, and places on the globe I didn’t know existed. In Romania, he pulled me to the side and told me “Pit, you can have me, and my brother.”

The moral: Pitbull should have stayed in school, and these lyrics are actually fucking creepy… Even when the genders aren’t reversed.

The Motto – Drake
Some Spanish boys love me like I’m on Aventura… Clubbing hard, fucking men, ain’t much to do.

The moral: When bored, get busy. It makes you look cool.

Leave You Alone – Young Jeezy
[Dear boyfriend:] keep your stomach, inner thighs, and your legs right, while I’m out here focus getting this bread right.

The moral: Women won’t support a man with a beer gut. Get it sorted, guys.

I’m actually sick of this stuff. It’s awful. Why do we buy into it, and let it lace itself into our culture?!

To finish, I’ll paraphrase the worst of them all: Faded, by Tyga and Lil Wayne. These men are class and I hope their families are proud.

  • Women are dogs, so sexual partners get the nickname “Lassie”.
  • During sex, put your thumb in a woman’s anus, and then make her smell it, in the hopes that she vomits.
  • “Pregnant bitch titties” are bad because you can milk them.
  • Have sex with a woman while playing your own music, then break “a bitch heart” once you’re done.

Stay classy, gentlemen.

Top 40 hits that make me facepalm
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11 thoughts on “Top 40 hits that make me facepalm

  • May 12, 2012 at 7:03 pm
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    You raise such a valid point and one that’s so ignored by media in general. I reckon this rubbish goes on because people don’t even know that’s what the lyrics are. At Karaoke the other night (don’t ask), we got to see some of the lyrics to songs we loved (not these ones, but some 50 cent etc) and OMG, don’t be likin’ them so much anymore.

    Overall it’s revolting. And that this is standard mainstream radio fodder is one huge face palm moment.

    • May 12, 2012 at 8:37 pm
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      I was reading a lot of lyrics prior to writing this, and it seems to happen a lot more in R&B and rap. Not so much in pop, which is also about having sex, but without the gory details and the name calling.

  • May 12, 2012 at 10:03 pm
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    Awesome, Cate – great idea to reverse the genders to highlight the grossness – makes me angry this stuff is so mainstream it doesn’t immediately stand out. Katy Perry, I’m also worried about – she studies Lolita religiously in One of the Boys in order to make guys drool over her – the book Lolita is about a 12 year old young girl who is preyed on by a pedophile – message- what? As long as you are sexually “available” you are a valuable member of society? Sorry, sorry. Ranting too, now. Great piece, thanks 🙂

    • May 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm
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      Thanks Samantha – you’re SO right about that song. Sigh.

  • May 14, 2012 at 10:08 pm
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    “I want to say a little something that’s long overdue/the disrespect to women has got to be through/to all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends/I want to offer my love and respect to the end.”

    RIP MCA. And RIP Hip Hop, because lets be honest. It’s dead too

  • May 15, 2012 at 3:52 pm
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    Neo-feminist, white middle class reaction to a culture you do not understand. What shit.

    • May 15, 2012 at 11:23 pm
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      I appreciate the fake email address you so cowardly left – I’m assuming you don’t own cunt.com. Pretty much says it all about your silly message as well. What shit, indeed.

      By the way, you can try to hide all you want but your unmasked IP address makes you totally trackable.

  • June 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm
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    I love this post. At the moment my car has no band expander and the only radio station I can get is MaiFM, I was so appalled the first few days at the level of vulgarity and hate that came through the lyrics of seemingly innocent songs, it terrifies me that there are young men and women growing up listening to this (that made me sound ancient, I’m 24 but totally out of touch with the likes of this)!

    I started a group text to some of my close friends called “Gangster lyric of the day”, highlights so far have included “If we ain’t freaking we ain’t speaking” “I want to split her like wood, but with my wood” and today’s “Oh Altana strip… drop that apple bottom right down on my banana clip” – seriously.

  • June 26, 2012 at 11:20 pm
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    I love music. I love grooving to it in the car. But I find more and more I need to switch to another radio station quickly and frequently when my two young daughters are in the car. Drive time radio as become x-rated and no one has noticed!

    Back to the 70’s disco and 80’s CD collection we go to keep it clean for young ears.

  • September 12, 2013 at 9:02 pm
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    Enjoying trolling your site again tonight, Cate. Just found this one I hadn’t read yet. Love it. Xx
    P.S. Your reply to the idiot made we chuckle out loud. (@2manyk9s)

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