Best Tweets: February 2013

Compiled by Belinda Too

As we’ve been enjoying this glorious endless summer all February long, our tweets have provided a curious record of what we’ve been up to. Some pretty weird stuff, it turns out.

Please put down your coffee so you don’t spray it out your nose over your keyboard.

Amazing True Stories of Twitter
MsBeeton Googling ‘when blowing nose water bubbles out of eye’. Yeah that happened.
Pilot_Magazine Just casually sitting in a maserati with an ex Russian military intelligence officer on the way to a super yacht. True story.
davidfarrier day off. at the beach. a flower fell on my back and I screamed. look forward to what other terrors await.
CyrisXD Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog.. my bad dude.. my bad.
THE_VONK 11 is a lot of puppies to squirt out of one dog aye?
ghewgill rmi Do let us know if you start growing tentacles. Somebody from the internet will be by to take pictures.

Keep It Classy, NZ (this is what Twitter is for, amirite?)
BrightBlackNZ Just sassed a 14 y/o girl for making fun of a pregnant lady for being ‘fat.’ I said “I’d be nice if I was you. That’ll be you in a year.”
robertandjono I bet that 19 year old dude with 13 kids has named them all after cars and Eminem songs
Covlin Just walked FULLY into a pole while tweeting. Knocked completely over. Totally pretended like nothing happened. Now my head and penis hurt.
WayneHatesFruit The prostitute outside of Dick Smith’s said “mmm mmm mmm” to me. Oh yeah, I’ve still got it…
emmalouisejohn Thought I had terrible dark circles under my eyes this am. Turns out it was last night’s make up. Mixed emotions.
kirsty_johnston Drying my hair out the window on the motorway enroute to a press conference. All class
NessOldfield Young woman rocking her leopard print onsie. Go Te Atatu Peninsula. #HappyFriday

Crafting Tips to Prevent Embarrassment
natdudley Related: hold onto your ball of yarn when the flight is landing to prevent it rolling all the way down the aisle.

The Pope  (if you had your filters on, you missed everything, sadly even people inviting you out for eggs benedict)
farmgeek So the retired Pope will live in the Vatican, neighbour to the new Pope. Best new sitcom premise ever?
@robtreacher “Former Pope” would be pretty cool to have on the old cv.

Valentine’s Day was Just Another Day
pinkdeedle My boyfriend text me. “happy valuations day”. Oh.
DanniiGardiner Some call it valentines day but I call it Thursday
RyanSproull Can’t believe no one’s endorsed me for “Long Walks on the Beach” on LinkedIn yet.

Jokes I Laughed At
NZCoroner #YOLO
guywilliamsguy “Farming confidence down” – Come on farmers you’re doing a great job! Those gumboots look great on you by the way!


Old Mout Cider



And the winner of February’s Tweet of the Month is @CyrisXD for the leapfrog-gone-wrong story! Enjoy your cider, and you can follow them too @OldMoutCider




Thank you Cate for allowing me to be a guest editor – it’s been fun compiling this list.  I hope you have all laughed a lot and now have new hilarious people to follow. love, @blendy