The Best Kiwi Tweets of November 2013

November was the month we decided to be all stereotypical and tweet about our kids and our food. Oh, and naturally, there’s a chocka ‘Stay Classy’ section.

We got hyped for #NZSecretSanta
@idarima Tip: Your #nzsecretsanta person isn’t tweeting, has a locked account, etc? Nickleback has released their greatest hits CD. Send them that
@stasiturnbull My poor #nzsecretsanta – you may think all I like is snarking. But it is not true! I also like kitsch, vintage and old china. And snarking.
@robtreacher I think the coinciding of #secretsantanz with the inorganic collection is genius. You can find and courier half a rusty trampoline for $10.
@ginblossom Jesus help me. My #nzsecretsanta person has tweeted less than 20 times. What does one buy someone with an actual life outside Twitter?
@TrueLangstone I forgot about secret Santa. I FORGOT ABOUT STRANGER PRESENTS. *sob

You’ve made it, baby!
@HayleyHeartbrk If someone said “kill urself” to me in relation to my art does that mean I’ve “made it” in 2013 speak?

@NZ_JB Amazon offers “free delivery” with all Kindle eBooks. What the hell?!
@wordgirlwriting You know you’re tired when you text a friend asking them what their mobile number is. *Face palm*
@sonyacole Wednesday should be a day off, two days of work in a row is enough

Stay classy
@Tenani Swooped my hair to the other side today and it feels all different and now I don’t know what to believe. What is life?
@Tenani On the bus, went to put my hand on my knee but accidentally put it on the stranger next to me’s knee. He moved. Mortified.
@THE_VONK I’m at a Bieber concert
@samanthamcqueen Where can one get a pair (or three) of festive Christmas earrings? Asking for a friend. Ok, asking for me.
@irfrazer A man just walked past me in a full suit wearing socks and sandals. I need a mental health day to get over this.
@pinkdeedle Shiiiit I hope spray paint comes out of diamonds
@LowScoreAttack Just saw a older gentleman wearing a full pastel outfit. Play on playa
@SaigonSyl why doesn’t Te Papa have a hall of mirrors, plz start a pledgeme
@robtreacher Is there a connection between craft beer and smelly farts? Asking for a friend.

It’s not Twitter if you don’t talk about food
@RachelRayner Beau just dipped a piece of Brie in guacamole. <3 <3 <3
@WayneLikesFood The studio director does not approve of my decision to eat half a litre of ice cream at 5:55am.
@DrJared I had BBQ for lunch AND dinner today. I’m pretty sure my body mass is 10% meat, 10% cancer, and 80% Jared.
@seemsforever instant mashed potato & a chocolate moosie for dinner bc i’m getting better at self-care all the time
@TroyRF Plan: Make a salad. Actual: Munched a capsicum, apple-style.
@_surlymermaid Eating pork chops and watching the original season of Survivor with Richard Hatch et al. I know you wish you were me. It’s ok.

@annettle I know this happened years ago, but every now and then I am still gobsmacked by the thought that my body GREW A WHOLE OTHER BODY INSIDE IT.
@catatonichic When asked, today, how he came to be so articulate, Mr3 replied “Disney Junior.” I facepalm
@hollyrwalker Esther’s birth certificate arrived. We made a real person!
@NZ_judester Miss 2 brings me a box. ‘Mummy, can I have a treat?’ It’s a box of tampons. ‘Er, no sweetheart’.
@MoataTamaira The foetus formally known as “Squishy” is now a baby boy. Very small and in an incubator but definitely a real live human. #happy


Old Mout Cider And the winner is…

With two entries it the “Stay Classy” section, and a bunch more nominations I could have used, the winner of the @OldMoutCider prize pack is @Tenani! Follow Old Mout on Twitter to get your hands on the delicious treats!