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The Postsecret and the Swamp

Reading the weekly Postsecret offerings is a bit of a ritual in my world. As I think about each one – sometimes in passing, sometimes at length – I often see reflections of myself.

I found one particularly touching:

As I read it, I felt really sad.

I lived in a swamp for a long time. I had an overwhelming feeling that it was my destiny, that the hard drudgery is what life is… That to escape from such a place requires a miracle not offered to those in the depths.

I think many people have felt the same way.

If you’re in that place – where the path out of the swamp feels too hard – don’t give up. Life is not all roses and sunshine like we often expect it to be. Life is hard work, it can be rough as guts, and it can hurt. But there’s a very important thing you need to know: The swamp – the place you were born into or now find yourself – is not a reflection on how precious and important you are.

Because you are so very precious, and do not deserve to live your life hidden away in a dark place.

So what can you do about it?

It’s time to start walking out of the swamp. Today. Right now. Change a mindset, change a habit. Stop talking down to yourself. Reach out to someone who can help you. Whatever your swamp is, now is the time to look towards something new.

It’s going to hurt, because hope hurts the heart that’s not used to it, but, trust me, even though the pain and scariness of change may be greater than the pain of living where you are right now, it’s worth it.

Think of it this way: You get a nasty infection in your elbow, which causes it to seize up. You’re not having any joy moving the joint, and you can’t carry much weight on it, but it’s functional. It doesn’t really matter that you can’t do everything, does it? Then a doctor takes a look at your elbow and suggests that cleaning out the infection will fully heal you. You agree to the treatment, and the doctor starts work.

It hurts. It fucking hurts.

You have a choice. You can persevere, or you can give up. You can fight through, or you can succumb.

Hand on heart, from someone who has walked the path out of the swamp – out of multiple swamps – it’s worth the fight. Don’t ever let the pain of healing rob you of your future.

Because what a future you can have.

This was a Postsecret that reminded me of how far I’ve come, and hopefully, it’ll inspire those who read this and need to hear it – you matter, your life matters, and it will get better.

Be brave.

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5 great cat videos

I love a good cat video, so here’s five of my favourite YouTube cat vids, in no particular order:

Woof! Woof! Woof! Wo- oh. Oh hai, didn’t see you there. Meow. Meow.

The original stalker cat

I LOVE cat gone!

Cutest kitten ever

No cat video collection would be complete without Maru!

Please add your favourites in the comments!

UPDATE: I’ve just discovered this one so have to add it in as a late entry.

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Like Crazy – Review

Last night I had a chance to see Like Crazy – a love story that is both surprising and honest.

It follows young lovers, British Anna (Felicity Jones, Brideshead Revisited, Chalet Girl) and American Jacob (Anton Yelchin, Hearts in Atlantis, Star Trek), as they negotiate an intercontinental romance. Alex Kingston, known best for her role in ER, also gets a nice outing in this film.

Set on a backdrop of beautiful cinematography, their love story slowly grows from initial long looks into a much deeper connection. I found myself both rooting for and frustrated by the characters. I needed to know how this one ended, and I wanted it to be a happy one. Was it? You’ll just have to watch.

The film has picked up a few awards, most notably the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance, and a Special Jury nod to Jones for her acting.

Like Crazy will be in New Zealand cinemas from February 2.

Watch the trailer

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Best Tweets: October 2011

New Zealand had an epic month – for some good, and some not-so-good reasons. Here are your AWESOME October tweets!

Oh, internet!
kev_nz I love how the internet makes everybody an expert on everything.
Tarquin_Death Blog comment: “I’ve read better articles in youtube comments.” Pretty sure this means I’ve made it!
Nightwyrm Seeing as New Zealand is a sheep nation, we should really refer to our Twitter posts as “bleats”.
TophHooperton Ohgod. Drunk replied to people at 2am on the work social media accounts. It doesn’t look too bad, though I did call someone ‘honey’.

Some people are rad
lindseyoutloud I love random deliciousness from strangers. Called a wrong number today and said sorry. ‘Don’t be sorry,’ said whoever it was. ‘Be happy.’

We may have a tiny issue with alcohol
TrendsAuckland ‘hangover’ is now trending in Auckland
LachlanForsyth This morning in the Newsroom I’ve found a crutch, a sleeping bag, 5 metres of bubblewrap & a metal detector. Things must have got craaa-zy…

The Rena
RachelRayner Who’s in charge of cleaning up the birds after Rena? DO THEY NEED TINY PENGUIN VESTS? I AM READY TO STEP UP.
chowda_head Now I know where that garbage scow from Kevin Costners’ Waterworld ended up. Repainted and renamed Rena

That RWC thing is done and dusted…
AliIkram Let’s face it 10k is getting off lightly for advancing on a Haka considering what punishment would have been pre 1840
MattTaylor Passed a house with five All Blacks flags on the fence. Not impressed, needs more.
madeleinesami It’s like The Lion King… but with a gold cup instead of Simba
MurrayWills I think one of the French Coaches might be wearing a fake mustache
annagconnell OMG Graham Henry’s face went from this >:-( to this I:-I
DanielRutledge K Road is already getting busy ahead of the RWC2011 final. There were only two piles of vomit and one blood splatter near Supper Club too!
OliGarside Quote from my sister: There’s too many Cocks in this game. Woodcock, Pocock, Quade Cooper…
allstarangel Slade off with a FUCKING sore GROIN?!?! What are these boys doing at night?!?!
oneorangemonkey ‘Oh my balls hurt, I can’t play games anymore’. Well at least he has a backup career as a heat pump.
meghanmutrie Ordered a takeaway All Black by accident instead of a long black. That’s twice now.
KaseBeats at least Mike Tindall had a good holiday.

(and a serious one!)
VickyRF Husband watching live, Dad watching in China, Grandad & Uncle watching in England, & Grandpa watching in USA. International family is united

… And now the election looms
mitchyyyyy I’ve decided to start a young wing of NZ First. Open to anyone between 15 and 65. Let me know if you’re keen.
CherylBernstein I feel least inclined to vote in this election of any, ever. Pity that No Confidence isn’t an option, like in student politics.
VegasNZ Winston Peters is back in Tauranga. That’s two old wrecks the town has to worry about
AndreAlessi “Building a Better Future”: Did the National Party really not see the problem with adopting the motto of every evil movie corporation ever?

On being healthy with food
Holliejsmith Eating pineapple lumps for lunch is considered 1 of my ‘5 a day’s’ right?
HungryandFrozen I’ve got a bowl of leftover cream cheese icing. Dairy knowledge-keepers, can I freeze it? Already explored the “try eating it all” option

I are awesome!
paudecanela_nz Went to PB Tech to get new monitor and asked the guy for “one of those USB thingies”. Good thing he doesn’t know I’m an IT journo
melhomer Went for a run. Wondered why everyone was looking at me strangely. Now realise I still have the fake blood on my neck from last nights party.
Nightwyrm Can’t wait for my bonus to come through in a month. I think I only have one pair of undies that doesn’t have holes.
rgoodchild arrrgh. just ended a really important business call with “thanks babe”
benjamintelfer I found my phone! Which I previously thought lost during the weekends celebrations. But no, was in the back of my wardrobe. WTF drunk Ben?!
nzmovieguy I wouldn’t have thought I was gay enough to spend 45 minutes picking the right neck tie for dinner, yet here I find myself.
lmfbs That awkward moment in the library when lube falls out of your bag
PaMelville Do not stab yourself accidently in the face with sharp scisssors. It bleeds A LOT

Confusion
WayneHatesFruit Home and Away reminds me of Jurassic Park, but without the dinosaurs.
JaredNeilsen To the woman reading erotic fiction on the bus at 7.30 this morning…. Why?
bentorkington Followed by the @tokyo_gayfinder. Couple of small issues with that.
beautygoss I hope foreigners aren’t watching Police Ten 7 and Motorway Patrol or they will think we are a country of absolute muppets
chrisphilpottnz Is it bad if you find yourself attracted to a zombie? … I’m asking for a friend

Life, eh?
spudmasher Someday you’ll be a beautiful swan. Just not today. Or any time soon.
tamati_coffey went to see The Help today with my boy. Heart wrenching and deep and sad and all that, but gotta say, makes me want a maid.
Dane_McLean Would be keen to watch “this is your life” if it was a judgemental version that surprised failures live on TV and asked ‘THIS is your life?‘
DanielRutledge I think I’m going to edit some of my favourite dolphin footage to some of my favourite trance tracks and then watch it heaps
rohanadarkar you know something is wrong with society when daily deal sites start offering discount vouchers to strip clubs.
tanya Just got asked for ID to buy a bowl of fries.
jessbovey I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber. I will NOT leave the same way!
juliewarm You can pretty much guarantee that when someone says “I am not meaning to be rude” that they are in fact meaning to be rude.
jgourley Watching a spider being milked on TV. I need a life.
TophHooperton I’M NOT EVEN JOKING A CAT WITH A PINK NECKERCHIEF HAS JUST COME INTO OUR HOUSE.
jamespjbutler First prize in my kids’ school raffle is a 1996 Toyota Levin (with mags!). Don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
NatalieBenning Just seen 5 women power walking along ponsonby rd with, 2 walking poles each. You’re going to get chai lattes ladies, not climb Everest.
manikpixi Decided in Warehouse Stationery office stamps would be better with “motherfucker”: FAXED MOTHERFUCKER; YOUR A/C IS OVERDUE MOTHERFUCKER.
sbuxRYRY I can’t help but notice that a lot of the warriors fans are missing teeth…

I may regret putting these on my website… but VAGISIL
_AnnyMa Vagisil… because you’re funky. And not in a good way.
LadyInDread I know I always associate vaginal odour (whatever that means) with spagetti bolognese and a glass of wine.
WendyWings you haven’t lived until your child has asked you “who is going to be smelling it anyway”

Parents gone feral
pinkdeedle Mum: your tits look like a national geographic cover. Put a bra on for fucks sake.
NZGeekGirl Days like today you can understand what makes some species eat their young.

Kids: Some people really like them!
not_friends I love how infectious the pure joy of children is. Spent two hours with my little ladies today, been full of undentable happiness ever since
paulbrislen Every morning as they go to school I tell my kids “Come home with a full brain” and they shout back “And an empty lunchbox”. Bliss
BexieLady miss 2 brought me breakfast in bed – a bottle of wine. She loves me.

So those are your tweets of the month! I’m going to start working on the NZ Social Media honours list soon, so keep an eye out when I ask for your votes!

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5 reasons to love Jónsi

Jónsi (real name Jón Þór Birgisson) is a singer-songwriter from Iceland who, I think, brings happiness and wonder back into music. He’s released a solo album, but gained fame as part of the Icelandic band Sigur Ros. Jónsi sometimes plays his guitar with a cello bow, wears sunglasses through entire shows and has invented his own language, which he calls “Hopelandic”.

So he’s ecclectic. That’s your first reason to love Jónsi. Here’s another four, in musical form:

Jónsi – Animal Arithmetic

Jónsi – Sinking Friendships

Jónsi – Kolniður

Jónsi covers MGMT’s Time to Pretend

I hope you enjoy him as much as I do!

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Best drink driving ad… ever?

 

I’m really enjoying this ad, newly released by the New Zealand Transport Authority. It’s a departure from their usual shock value ads – and other attempts into this territory have fallen flat (Google “mantrol” and “manis”) – but they seem to have struck it right with this one.

“Bro, Monique says you’re dumb”

“Puzzle time!”

“You know I can’t grab your ghost chips”

“I’ve been internalising a really complicated situation in my head”

Music is by Franklin Road Studios, especially for the ad. The main actor is Darcey-Ray Flavell (who you may recognise him from Boy). The agencies are Sweet Shop and Clemenger BBDO – you bloody legends.

UPDATE: There’s now a Ghost Chips song – it’s by The Cuzzies and here’s the official video:

Before you ask where you’ve seen that guy before, it’s Jermaine Leefe, who used to be a VJ on C4.

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Facebook insights for web

Facebook page owners are starting to learn the real value of Facebook page insights – and it’s become even more important to know and understand your users now that Facebook’s new metrics are public.

But there’s a little-known analytics package in Facebook called Insights For Your Website, which can tell you a lot about who is hitting your site, what they’re sharing to Facebook, and how they’re sharing it.

From the insights you can deduce who your major advocates are, the demographics of users who are reaching your site, if your like buttons are working, and what Facebook social plugins are having the best impact.

So how do you access these insights?

First, you need a website and a Facebook account. Then you’ll need to prove to Facebook you have the rights to see the insights. Visit facebook.com/insights. In the top right hand corner there’s a button – hit it!

A popup will appear – and you’ll see a domain to put your website details in, and a dropdown menu. Select the brand page you want to hook the domain up to. Anyone who is admin on that brand page will be able to access the web analytics for the website. If it’s for personal use – for your blog or similar – then just select your own name.

There’s a line of code sitting in there. This is called a meta tag and it needs to go into the header of the main page of your website. Each website is different, so I can’t tell you exactly how to do this part. If you’re not sure how: Google is good.

Once you’ve inserted the line, come back to this screen and click “Get Insights” – it’s that simple!

Now you’re in, and given Facebook a couple of minutes to get all the data loaded, it’s time to pick the meaty bits. For me, it’s looking at demographic information, and the conversion between like button impressions and like button shares.

Breaking your users down into age and gender is useful if you’re dealing with demo targeting – something helpful if you’re advertising, but perhaps not so much for the layperson. It’s still interesting stuff, though.

I also like to compare impression demos against those on the Facebook page they relate to. Is there an area of my web audience who aren’t liking my posts? Is there a section who aren’t clicking the like buttons? Who are doing organic shares – and do those rates tell me that my like buttons are under-utilised, and may be in the wrong place on the page?

Another useful insight is the Popular Pages section – you can see how many times the like button has been clicked or URL organically shared to Facebook on certain pages and start to see patterns in what gets your audience sharing.

So give it a go – hook your website into Facebook insights. I’d love to hear about your results!

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Sharing trends

Mashable recently posted a block infographic released by Clearspring based on AddThis data, but I found it hard to read as it was so big and oddly spaced. I’ve recut the graphic slightly, but the data is all there. No infringement inteded!

Here’s some sharing trends from the last five years of data collected by AddThis:

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When good stats go bad

I was faced with an interesting situation this afternoon: I had found a blog post where some work I had overseen was critiqued with a point of view that didn’t align with the goals we had, and made the project look bad. The project was, in reality, a big success.

It’s an easy mistake to make. Heck, I’ve made it. We judge work based on the standards we have for it. We think we know the desired outcomes, and we make assumptions based on that.

But it is a dangerous path, making a case study from external stats, especially when you don’t know what the point of the endeavour was.

The figures are, I imagine, faultless. There’s no arguing the number of times words have appeared in a feed, or the number of status updates on a single platform. But that yardstick didn’t match the one we were using.

When reading a case study, one of the most important questions you can ask of it is: Was it written by or with the help of someone who was a part of the project? Can the writer tell me the point of the project? Do they know the measurements to decide “success” in this instance?

A one-size-fits-all approach is tempting, but not always the right move when it comes to social strategy. Getting ‘heaps of mentions’ on Twitter, or ‘1,000 views on YouTube’ is not always the goal of the exercise. Something that looks great on the outside may not be achieving any of the objectives, or tell the whole of the story.

A Facebook page with 100,000 fans may look good on paper – but how many of those fans click the links, interact with the brand, or buy the product? How much did you spend in ads to get those fans? A Twitter account with 50,000 followers seems legendary – but are those followers in an active relationship with the account holder? Are they even real accounts? Is it the old follow-followback trick?

One of the issues with social media in New Zealand is that there are so few case studies released, fewer still with in-depth strategic commentary, that any data is picked apart until it loses meaning. But a fundamental mistake in reading too much into data is thinking the intention of the project manager was to achieve “A”, and then failing them for not doing so, ignoring that they may well have been aiming for “B” all along.

I learned a valuable lesson about my own assumptions today.

The next time you’re reading an analysis of a project, read it critically, asking yourself if the author really has the authority to offer the context required. If you don’t, you could miss out on some real insights.

Seems basic, right?

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We are like trees

If you’ve ever studied a tree stump you’ll know all about the rings. Looking over them is like caressing a lifetime. You can see exactly how different events in the tree’s life affected it. The grafting, the pruning, the good years, and the bad years – they are all right there in those rings. The events are so woven into the tree that they shape it and give it character.

In many ways, you and I are like trees. We are shaped by the events around us – the good and the bad. But unlike trees we have a choice about what we prune.

Maybe you are an emotional spender. Maybe you jump from relationship to relationship. Perhaps you feel jealous when others succeed. Whatever it is, it’s costing you peace and wellbeing – and possibly some friends too.

There is a model that’s really helped me clear out some of the emotional junk hanging around my life: Face, trace, replace.

Face the fact that you’ve got a problem. This might sound easy, but sometimes self-awareness is one of the hardest things to learn. Don’t let shame stop you – face up to your issues and the underlying feeling, be it jealousy, anger, sadness – acknowledge it. Get to know what triggers it.

Trace the problem to its root. The inappropriate emotion you’re feeling harks back to something earlier – where did it start? How did it start? What lies did you learn at that time – “I’m not good enough”, “I’m ugly”, “I don’t matter”, “No one listens to me” are examples.

Replace the lies with truth. Whatever you told yourself that caused you to go off on this understandable tangent, replace it with honesty. “She really didn’t mean to overlook me, it was a mistake. She loves me”; “I am beautiful, even if he didn’t say it. He probably didn’t know how to say it”; “I really do matter. They were just rude and horrible and I don’t have to believe what they said”… see what I mean?

I’m not a counsellor. I’m just telling you, from a person that’s struggled, that this worked for me. Yes, it took a long time. No, I’m not perfectly healed… But this is a big step in the right direction.

So next time you see a tree stump, stop to admire the rings… and know that you have a choice.