Best Tweets: July 2011

July’s been a big month for Kiwis online. NZ gained another global meme, thanks to Cameron Leslie. Top Model continued to take over the Twitterverse. @BexieLady gained Klout in “sausages” – wait, what?

Cos being online is awesome
BexieLady Klout still says I am influential about sausages. Wonderful.
MoataTamaira Everyone in office now looking up their unicorn names. My work here is done.
iamkateharley I got banned from trademe because I took more than 3-5 working days for me to send a 60 yr old man his marykate & ashley dvd.
tarasutherland search terms to find my blog: getting high off codral, auckland fucking city, why is masturbation called masturbation, the letter p. :-/
Nightwyrm If anyone hears uncontrollable sobbing, it’s just me opening my work emails.

Some old school media
nzmovieguy Taxi driver is telling me about his letter to the editor. He’s pulled out the newspaper to look for it. Yes, the car is in motion.
danslevin Just bought my first newspaper in weeks. The fire needed lighting.
iChild Lots of crying on #NZNTM tonight. Anyone else think the girls have synchronized their cycles?

New Zealand, owl!
DavidSlack What you must always do is blow on your pie, finish your set and cook the man some eggs. #NZRulesToLiveBy

Oh, life
nzmovieguy A man just walked by me and said to the lady with him “some by birth, some by choice”. Not entirely sure what he meant by that.
andrealessi That awkward moment when you can no longer tell the difference between artfully styled hipsters and unwashed engineering students.
Nightwyrm People who book 12.30 meetings deserve their own special place in hell.
Vegrandis If you have 10E/10F boobies there are some good $3 bras (marked down from like $80) at BNT at Dressmart lolol, also, congrats on the body.
kittenypentland This year I have taken to wearing a scarf so it needs to be stated for the record: if I’m found strangled it was clumsiness not auto-erotica
TheNoemi Getting legs waxed. #ouch why do I do this again? That’s right, I don’t want to scare the children when we go to thermal pools.
vaughndavis Just texted my wife: “Fucking nanny!” do I need to follow up and explain this was a grumble and not a status update?
elpie Who knew that SkyTV boxes could catch fire if cats sleep on them? I didn’t, but do now.

Parenting
fleurtee Got a little worried when reading Mr6’s story “Spiderman you cunt….” pretty sure he meant can’t, should probably correct him on that one!
SpeelyFreaking Currently stuffing cold mashed potato into an envelope addressed to Africa. Why? Because stubborn parenting is how I roll.
SheldonNesdale My 2yo son has taken to yelling across the house using my wife’s first name. Who the heck did he learn that from?
MrsKateLincoln I think we’ve turned the smallchild into a JAFA. Only 20 months old & has requested to go out for coffee.

Some people are a worry!
PebblesHooper is cocaine a carb?
AdageBusiness oops neighbours just asked me to turn music down … told them I will when the move their bedhead away from the wall got a blank look
ryansallan Royal Oak roundabout is dangerous as fuck. Especially when trying to tweet.
tauhenare Do not lick the knife that you used in the hot hot fudge until it has cooled down. #recipes #fudge #hotknife

Best Tweets: July 2011
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2 thoughts on “Best Tweets: July 2011

  • August 4, 2011 at 10:47 am
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    *applause*

  • August 30, 2011 at 10:32 am
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    That SpeelyFreaking tweet is hilarious.

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