The Best Kiwi Tweets of October 2013

Hello!

Yes, we skipped a month. But now we have October’s tweets to enjoy! Here you go…

We played Auckland Monopoly (again)
‏@_GlennCollier community chest card: ‘ you have won second prize in a beauty contest collect $10, but your parking spot cost $30’
@takapunani Farro Fresh has run out of kale, quinoa and acai. Lose $150.
@pcuser42 You’re on a bus on the Harbour Bridge. Go back three spaces.
@watershitdown It is your birthday Collect $10 & your underwear from each player
@cjlambert Mt Eden prison riot. Get out of jail free.
@nickeee_tweets The rent is $400 but because you are competing with 50+ people to live there you have to offer to pay $550

Getting from A to B
@Vegrandis Omg I can’t see out of my bus windows!! I guess I’ll get out at the stop that “feels” like my area.
@WayneLikesFood I’m going to walk home from work. It’ll be good exercise. If I get mugged I’ll have something to talk about when people ask about my weekend
@HayleyHeartbrk Woops, too busy seething with resentment forgot to get off the bus

Technology though
@guywilliamsguy The happiest people I’ve seen are Fijian towl administrators and I’m like why are YOU so happy!? You don’t even have an iPhone!? God.
@wimon_song Just received the photos I emailed myself more than a month ago. Thanks internet.
@Megapope You’ve all given me so many great new insults for using at people I don’t like on Reddit. Which is pretty much most of them.
@takapunani “twitter is better with friends”. go home twitter you’re drunk
@rednz Just watched a girl’s makeup application tutorial on YouTube and it feels like that time you found out magic/santa wasn’t real.

Auckland
@rosiecd The Len Brown story was way more interesting when I thought Bevan Chuang was an Asian man.
@yohohos I wonder if Lorde can afford to buy a house in Auckland yet.

DOGS!
@thelittlepakeha Just let dogs in. OMG SO EXCITING OMG OMG HAS THE HOUSE CHANGED WHILE THEY WERE OUTSIDE LET’S FIND OUT OMG OMG IT HASN’T WOAH!
@VickyRF When @TroyRF has angry outbursts at video games, dogs quickly look to me as if to ask ‘is he mad or fake-mad?’ I nod, they return to sleep.

Stay Classy
@smownin Has anyone checked if there’s a correlation between mass murderers and where they shopped before they murdered? Is it pak n save?
@jtclassic Just had a very drunk 67-year old man on his birthday call me to play a request for his mistress! #Tuesday
@NZ_JB Ante-natal class #4: what to do with the pooping machine when it comes out.
@Kiwi_Chatter Had a shower, sent my bum to some people on snapchat, defrosted chicken for dinner. Busy, busy, busy.
@sophiealiceryan Two handfuls of mini marshmallows is not a breakfast of champions, adult life is hard.

Old Mout Cider And the winner is…

@takapunani because, heck, she’s made it twice in one month. Boom. Please follow @OldMoutCider to collect your delicious prize!

The Best Kiwi Tweets of October 2013
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2 thoughts on “The Best Kiwi Tweets of October 2013

  • November 4, 2013 at 7:58 am
    Permalink

    And you skipped a year!

    • November 4, 2013 at 8:29 am
      Permalink

      You get double points for noticing – you must be subscribed because I changed that straight after posting it 😀

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