Yes, we skipped a month. But now we have October’s tweets to enjoy! Here you go…
We played Auckland Monopoly (again)
@_GlennCollier community chest card: ‘ you have won second prize in a beauty contest collect $10, but your parking spot cost $30’
@takapunani Farro Fresh has run out of kale, quinoa and acai. Lose $150.
@pcuser42 You’re on a bus on the Harbour Bridge. Go back three spaces.
@watershitdown It is your birthday Collect $10 & your underwear from each player
@cjlambert Mt Eden prison riot. Get out of jail free.
@nickeee_tweets The rent is $400 but because you are competing with 50+ people to live there you have to offer to pay $550
Getting from A to B
@Vegrandis Omg I can’t see out of my bus windows!! I guess I’ll get out at the stop that “feels” like my area.
@WayneLikesFood I’m going to walk home from work. It’ll be good exercise. If I get mugged I’ll have something to talk about when people ask about my weekend
@HayleyHeartbrk Woops, too busy seething with resentment forgot to get off the bus
@guywilliamsguy The happiest people I’ve seen are Fijian towl administrators and I’m like why are YOU so happy!? You don’t even have an iPhone!? God.
@wimon_song Just received the photos I emailed myself more than a month ago. Thanks internet.
@Megapope You’ve all given me so many great new insults for using at people I don’t like on Reddit. Which is pretty much most of them.
@takapunani “twitter is better with friends”. go home twitter you’re drunk
@rednz Just watched a girl’s makeup application tutorial on YouTube and it feels like that time you found out magic/santa wasn’t real.
@thelittlepakeha Just let dogs in. OMG SO EXCITING OMG OMG HAS THE HOUSE CHANGED WHILE THEY WERE OUTSIDE LET’S FIND OUT OMG OMG IT HASN’T WOAH!
@VickyRF When @TroyRF has angry outbursts at video games, dogs quickly look to me as if to ask ‘is he mad or fake-mad?’ I nod, they return to sleep.
@smownin Has anyone checked if there’s a correlation between mass murderers and where they shopped before they murdered? Is it pak n save?
@jtclassic Just had a very drunk 67-year old man on his birthday call me to play a request for his mistress! #Tuesday
@NZ_JB Ante-natal class #4: what to do with the pooping machine when it comes out.
@Kiwi_Chatter Had a shower, sent my bum to some people on snapchat, defrosted chicken for dinner. Busy, busy, busy.
@sophiealiceryan Two handfuls of mini marshmallows is not a breakfast of champions, adult life is hard.