A Quick Escape: Great Barrier Island

Over new years I was lucky enough to go to Great Barrier Island, New Zealand’s fourth largest island, sitting in the outer Hauraki Gulf. I’d heard a little about it – that it was “off the grid” and “rustic” – but didn’t really have any expectations.

The place is gorgeous, unspoiled, vast and varied. The locals are super-friendly and the beaches are easily some of the best in the country.

If you like Waiheke, but wish there were fewer people, and more scenery, Great Barrier should be your next destination, for sure.

My top tips for the island:

Getting there: You can catch a ferry or fly, both priced around $120 one way. The car ferry, which takes walk-on passengers too, takes about four and a half hours. You can get a commuter ferry which only takes two. Do that, if you can. Also note that taxi drivers have no idea where the Sealink terminal is at North Wharf. The ferry dumps you out on the south-east tip of the island and you’ll need some way of getting to wherever you’re staying. We rented a car.

First view as you come in on the ferry
First view as you come in on the ferry

Travel: Renting a car is best. There were quite a few hitchhikers, the roads were designed by drunk circus clowns, and our lodge had a bus, but we were grateful to have our own ride. By the way, petrol is $3.30 a litre.

Eating: Food is really expensive over there, so take your own or budget extra. Bread was $6+ per loaf, and an iceblock can set you back $4. A meal out – a main and a beer – cost $45, and it wasn’t fancy. Yeoch. You can drink water from the tap, but it tastes a bit funny.

Swimming: The west coast is lovely for a relaxing dip. My favourite was Puriri Bay in Tryphena Harbour – it was awesome. The east coast beaches are a bit wilder and great for surfers, especially the Medlands. Remember to take your sunscreen and plenty of water to drink! There are hot springs in the middle of the island, it’s about a 40 minute walk in the bush to get to them.

Tryphena Harbour at sunset
Tryphena Harbour at sunset

Snorkling: Borrow or buy a cheap set and just get out there. The water on the west coast of the island is crystal clear and very calm. It’s just lovely. I wish I had done this.

Eco-island stuff: Most places run off generators or batteries, and they go on and off. Take a solar powered charger with you, and make sure your kindle is fully-charged before you leave home. Most places have tank water, so don’t expect long hot showers, and if you’re afraid of longdrops, Great Barrier is not the place for you. Most places have eftpos, but take cash with you.

Port FitzRoy takes a lot to get to, but is worth it
Port FitzRoy takes a lot to get to, but is worth it

Internet access: I was on Telecom and used 3G the whole time. The only place it was patchy was Port FitzRoy, but the locals tell me it’s because Telecom don’t put gas in their generator. Apparently Vodafone works fine.

I’d highly recommend Great Barrier Island for a getaway. I’ll be going back!

The Best Kiwi Tweets of December 2013

Happy (almost) new year! I can’t believe I’ve been doing this “best of” tweets thing for four years. I think the tweets are as sharp, amusing, and poignant as ever though, so lets get into them!

Christmas with the whanau
@RuminatorNZ Today my mother gave my 30 something sister a bubble making machine for Christmas and I’m all like “what?” but Holy shit I want one.
@RachelRayner Niece’s first Christmas! Is she getting lots of gifts? “She really likes empty plastic bottles at the moment, so we got her a 2 litre one.”
@Simonpnz Coley just got a package from @roseandthorne. Merry Christmas, me.

Comments, brought you to by stuff.co.nz
@chrisphilpottnz “I think you need to get out more, dude.” Awesome! Some of the commenters from Stuff *did* follow me to NZH after all!
@toryhipster Oh my god I’ve realised something amazing. My Uncle John is actually your average stuff commenter. This all makes so much sense.

Christmas food
@beekaynz Hahahaha. Someone ordered the groceries after a smidgin too much wine. Three salamis, two packs of chorizo, TWELVE packets of crackers.
@Vegrandis I got given like 6 packs of Ferrero Rochers for xmas and I just want to go home and empty them onto my bed and roll around in them.
@DawgBelly Pip has come trotting in carrying the remains of an Ernest Adams Christmas pud in its red plastic bowl. We didn’t hv a Christmas pudding…
@j20r Why would you sell fudge in a resealable bag
@HayleyHeartbrk Braving the New World Metro. Pray 4 me.
@sitharus Is there something about christmas that makes people forget how to supermarket?
@plambrechtsen Making jelly at home and getting eldest to read the instructions. Asked her “what does the box say” and you can imagine what happened next?
@hamfritta Go to McDonald’s & get asked if I’d like the usual.

You’re getting old
@3rd_Gen_ Signs I’m ageing / saw buff young man in hot pants / 1st thought ” ooh he must be cold”

Oh dear lord
@katjnz Checkout operator at New World just called me ‘sir’. Self esteem ruined forever.
@joshlindsay No nice way to say this. House started shaking then toilet just sucked all my business away while I was going. What the fuck?!?

Technology Tweets
@neilmullanefinn even though I just had a terrific meal I will never tweet about food
@_AnnyMa Hurry up Beyoncé instagram your Christmas
@3rd_Gen_ Asking Siri secret to great sex. So far I’ve got the secret to great seats, great Sikhs, & great six.
@vaughndavis What I would love for NZ Twitter in 2014: less anti, more Aunties.
@jinnee79 Changed my profile picture, keep seeing my tweets & wondering who I am
@juhasaarinen I am banning subtweets from certain people.
@ehjc My phone just autocorrected vulvas to vulcans. Yes. Ok.

Perspective, just quietly
@AliIkram some NZers spent $238 million on Xmas Eve some queued for 7 hours for food parcels.

This is love
@seemsforever today it’s the birthday of my most precious @not_friends and i’m so lucky to get to wake up with her i love her i love her
@NZ_JB Have a baby bottle and a cup of strong coffee next to the bed. It’s great having our wee guy home.
@NatashaUtting At age 96 my Nan complimented me on my blouse & asked me to leave it to her in my will. Fav person ever. Would’ve been her birthday today.
@missannajane The bus driver in Raumati is adorable and greets her regulars by name

Heath…?
@kittengloves When choosing a seat in the doctors’ waiting room is like a game of Would You Rather…
@VickyRF Sometimes I read the side effects on medication labels and think they should end by saying “may the odds be ever in your favor.”

Stay Classy, New Zealand
@ScrambledBeks I wonder if my neighbour realises I can see him every time he goes & pees outside?
@badtom Just bought myself a present so that I’d have something to unwrap in the morning. Caught myself taking off the price before wrapping it.
@not_friends One week till my birthday! Let’s pick up the hype, people.
@birds_knees I think the highlight of today’s shopping though, had to be the 2m long smear of (presumably) toddler poo on the floor at The Warehouse :/
@beanbiz The World Darts Championship would be slightly better if the winning player threw their darts straight into the crowd.
@ebryantnz The mullet count is now up to four. Mind you I am at McDonald’s.
@philwalter Visualized my 5k excercise. Does that count?
@ellen_pickett Love getting phone calls from friends in NZ who are too drunk to care it’s costing them 100 bucks a minute.
@Nicolaaarrr “gonna go out” “gonna be fierce” “woo newly single” “woo putting makeup on” “woo yeah newly singl- oh i just cried all the makeup back off”
@tobiasbrockie wish i had really long hair and my best friend did too, so we could braid it together and idk just throw stones at people out a window
@hollyrwalker Oh my god I went to Queensgate mall with a baby and no clear plan. Why? WHY!? *tears off own face*
@thelittlepakeha I am apparently hilariously passive aggressive on drugs though, I signed the last email “happy holidays if you can afford them”

Stay Classy – the clothing-based bonus round
@Kiwi_Chatter I invented a word “Jundies.” When a girl’s jean shorts are so small, they’re basically undies.
@HatePash1 Keep putting coins in my bra and then forgetting about them. Every time I take it off it’s like a Mario bonus level.
@irfrazer There is a guy on the plane wearing orange toe shoes. I don’t know what to do about this at all. So many emotions, like rage and disgust.

 

logogooglgoogoIt’s at this point I’d normally announce who had won Tweets of the Month and give them a prize. Sadly, our wonderful long-term sponsor is unable to continue due to new alcohol legislation, so I’m on the hunt for a new sponsor. If your business is keen, please send me an expression of interest.

Thank you all so much for your amazing support this year: The nominees, the nominators, the guest editors, and the readers! I couldn’t do this without all of you.

 

Here’s to 2014!

YouTube’s 2013 mashup is amazing!

Featuring Jenna Marballs as Miley in Wrecking Ball, Kid President being rad, Smosh in their undies, and Epic Meal Time hanging out with Overly Attached Girlfriend, prepare for some epic-level awesomeness from YouTube’s 2013 mashup.

Also featured: Prancercise wonders what the fox says, if you’re looking carefully, you’ll spot GloZell in a horsemask, and there’s cameos from Jimmy Fallon, Macklemore, Jamie Oliver, and the Cookie Monster.

Enough of the writing, time to get watching!

And check out all the behind-the-scenes action here:

NZ’s most watched YouTube clips of 2013

What were New Zealand’s most-watched YouTube videos this year?

10 – Te Ao Te Huia’s X Factor NZ audition:

9 – UGA men’s swim teams’ Harlem Shake

8 – Ashley Tonga’s X Factor NZ audition

7- JGeeks’ The Best Day I Ever Had

6 – The Lonely Island’s YOLO

5 – Harlem Shake the Army Edition

4 – Drug Driving’s Blazed ad

3 – Guy finds his house plumbed with beer

2 – How animals eat their food

1 – Ylvis – What does the Fox Say?

Bonus: YouTube’s 2013 mash-up!

Which have been your favourite YouTube clips of 2013?

The Best Kiwi Tweets of November 2013

November was the month we decided to be all stereotypical and tweet about our kids and our food. Oh, and naturally, there’s a chocka ‘Stay Classy’ section.

We got hyped for #NZSecretSanta
@idarima Tip: Your #nzsecretsanta person isn’t tweeting, has a locked account, etc? Nickleback has released their greatest hits CD. Send them that
@stasiturnbull My poor #nzsecretsanta – you may think all I like is snarking. But it is not true! I also like kitsch, vintage and old china. And snarking.
@robtreacher I think the coinciding of #secretsantanz with the inorganic collection is genius. You can find and courier half a rusty trampoline for $10.
@ginblossom Jesus help me. My #nzsecretsanta person has tweeted less than 20 times. What does one buy someone with an actual life outside Twitter?
@TrueLangstone I forgot about secret Santa. I FORGOT ABOUT STRANGER PRESENTS. *sob

You’ve made it, baby!
@HayleyHeartbrk If someone said “kill urself” to me in relation to my art does that mean I’ve “made it” in 2013 speak?

Logic
@NZ_JB Amazon offers “free delivery” with all Kindle eBooks. What the hell?!
@wordgirlwriting You know you’re tired when you text a friend asking them what their mobile number is. *Face palm*
@sonyacole Wednesday should be a day off, two days of work in a row is enough

Stay classy
@Tenani Swooped my hair to the other side today and it feels all different and now I don’t know what to believe. What is life?
@Tenani On the bus, went to put my hand on my knee but accidentally put it on the stranger next to me’s knee. He moved. Mortified.
@THE_VONK I’m at a Bieber concert
@samanthamcqueen Where can one get a pair (or three) of festive Christmas earrings? Asking for a friend. Ok, asking for me.
@irfrazer A man just walked past me in a full suit wearing socks and sandals. I need a mental health day to get over this.
@pinkdeedle Shiiiit I hope spray paint comes out of diamonds
@LowScoreAttack Just saw a older gentleman wearing a full pastel outfit. Play on playa
@SaigonSyl why doesn’t Te Papa have a hall of mirrors, plz start a pledgeme
@robtreacher Is there a connection between craft beer and smelly farts? Asking for a friend.

It’s not Twitter if you don’t talk about food
@RachelRayner Beau just dipped a piece of Brie in guacamole. <3 <3 <3
@WayneLikesFood The studio director does not approve of my decision to eat half a litre of ice cream at 5:55am.
@DrJared I had BBQ for lunch AND dinner today. I’m pretty sure my body mass is 10% meat, 10% cancer, and 80% Jared.
@seemsforever instant mashed potato & a chocolate moosie for dinner bc i’m getting better at self-care all the time
@TroyRF Plan: Make a salad. Actual: Munched a capsicum, apple-style.
@_surlymermaid Eating pork chops and watching the original season of Survivor with Richard Hatch et al. I know you wish you were me. It’s ok.

Spawn
@annettle I know this happened years ago, but every now and then I am still gobsmacked by the thought that my body GREW A WHOLE OTHER BODY INSIDE IT.
@catatonichic When asked, today, how he came to be so articulate, Mr3 replied “Disney Junior.” I facepalm
@hollyrwalker Esther’s birth certificate arrived. We made a real person!
@NZ_judester Miss 2 brings me a box. ‘Mummy, can I have a treat?’ It’s a box of tampons. ‘Er, no sweetheart’.
@MoataTamaira The foetus formally known as “Squishy” is now a baby boy. Very small and in an incubator but definitely a real live human. #happy

 

Old Mout Cider And the winner is…

With two entries it the “Stay Classy” section, and a bunch more nominations I could have used, the winner of the @OldMoutCider prize pack is @Tenani! Follow Old Mout on Twitter to get your hands on the delicious treats!

Hilarious video explains why you should never read YouTube comments

We’d all heard the quote “don’t read the comments” and this super-funny video shows us exactly why that’s true.

The video’s creators say “The YouTube comment section can sometimes make you question humanity, so to cheer you up we’re bringing you dramatic reconstructions of some of the best comment wars. This time it’s between ‘Sophie Danze’ and ‘Jilianlovesthebeibs’ on One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful.”

This is the start of what will be a very funny series of clips. You can subscribe to Dead Parrot’s YouTube channel here.

How you can help the @AKcitymission this Christmas with #TwitterMissionNZ

This year, the lovely @katjnz and I had been thinking of charities we could get behind, and help other People Of Twitter do the same.

City Missions. They do amazing work with some of the outcast, overlooked, and needy in our communities. They’re always in need of stock and volunteers, but never moreso than at Christmas.

We thought it would be a cool idea to give back to our community – both the Twitter community, and Auckland – by offering our services: We want to help you connect with the Auckland City Mission.

What they need:

  • Non-perishable foods such as pasta, tinned fruit, canned tuna, tea and coffee, powdered milk, juice, rice etc
  • Unwrapped gifts for kids – try to choose things that don’t require batteries, aren’t toy guns, would be good for outdoor play and aren’t expensive (can’t give one child an expensive gift and not others!)

What we’ll do:

  • Kat and I will come to your house on Saturday the 30th of November and collect your donations, and take them to the Mission’s collection point in time for the Christmas rush.
  • When we see you, we’d like to get a wee photo with you so everyone can follow the collection day on Twitter, but that’s entirely up to you.

What you need to do:

Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement – and if you aren’t in Auckland, you no doubt have some amazing local charities doing this work in your community. Maybe you could run a #TwitterMissionNZ in your neighbourhood? We’d love to hear about it if you do!

Cate and Kat.

The Best Kiwi Tweets of October 2013

Hello!

Yes, we skipped a month. But now we have October’s tweets to enjoy! Here you go…

We played Auckland Monopoly (again)
‏@_GlennCollier community chest card: ‘ you have won second prize in a beauty contest collect $10, but your parking spot cost $30’
@takapunani Farro Fresh has run out of kale, quinoa and acai. Lose $150.
@pcuser42 You’re on a bus on the Harbour Bridge. Go back three spaces.
@watershitdown It is your birthday Collect $10 & your underwear from each player
@cjlambert Mt Eden prison riot. Get out of jail free.
@nickeee_tweets The rent is $400 but because you are competing with 50+ people to live there you have to offer to pay $550

Getting from A to B
@Vegrandis Omg I can’t see out of my bus windows!! I guess I’ll get out at the stop that “feels” like my area.
@WayneLikesFood I’m going to walk home from work. It’ll be good exercise. If I get mugged I’ll have something to talk about when people ask about my weekend
@HayleyHeartbrk Woops, too busy seething with resentment forgot to get off the bus

Technology though
@guywilliamsguy The happiest people I’ve seen are Fijian towl administrators and I’m like why are YOU so happy!? You don’t even have an iPhone!? God.
@wimon_song Just received the photos I emailed myself more than a month ago. Thanks internet.
@Megapope You’ve all given me so many great new insults for using at people I don’t like on Reddit. Which is pretty much most of them.
@takapunani “twitter is better with friends”. go home twitter you’re drunk
@rednz Just watched a girl’s makeup application tutorial on YouTube and it feels like that time you found out magic/santa wasn’t real.

Auckland
@rosiecd The Len Brown story was way more interesting when I thought Bevan Chuang was an Asian man.
@yohohos I wonder if Lorde can afford to buy a house in Auckland yet.

DOGS!
@thelittlepakeha Just let dogs in. OMG SO EXCITING OMG OMG HAS THE HOUSE CHANGED WHILE THEY WERE OUTSIDE LET’S FIND OUT OMG OMG IT HASN’T WOAH!
@VickyRF When @TroyRF has angry outbursts at video games, dogs quickly look to me as if to ask ‘is he mad or fake-mad?’ I nod, they return to sleep.

Stay Classy
@smownin Has anyone checked if there’s a correlation between mass murderers and where they shopped before they murdered? Is it pak n save?
@jtclassic Just had a very drunk 67-year old man on his birthday call me to play a request for his mistress! #Tuesday
@NZ_JB Ante-natal class #4: what to do with the pooping machine when it comes out.
@Kiwi_Chatter Had a shower, sent my bum to some people on snapchat, defrosted chicken for dinner. Busy, busy, busy.
@sophiealiceryan Two handfuls of mini marshmallows is not a breakfast of champions, adult life is hard.

Old Mout Cider And the winner is…

@takapunani because, heck, she’s made it twice in one month. Boom. Please follow @OldMoutCider to collect your delicious prize!