You won’t believe what Ashton Kutcher has to say in this video

I’d be the first to admit I’m not a huge fan of Ashton Kutcher’s work. He’s lanky and yelly and Dude Where’s My Car is not my idea of funny.

His personal life was always a bit more interesting – marrying Demi Moore and being what sounded like a great step dad to her kids for example – made me think there was a bit more to him than the in-your-face hyperactive antics that MTV’s Punk’d would suggest.

He recently won the Teen’s Choice award, and to a stadium filled with screaming teen and pre-teen fans he gave this somewhat unexpected thank you speech:


Stuff I like: March 2013

Here’s the stuff I’m loving this month!

This gif:


This gif:

Speaking of Kevin Spacey in House of Cards… House Of Cards.
If you haven’t seen this yet, what the frick and frack? The whole first season is available, legit, on the TV3 website for the next couple of weeks. Yes, my friends run that site, but it doesn’t change the fact that this show is the business.

Broods – Bridges


Now give the website a go!

Here’s my video 🙂

The strangest conversation Mum and I have ever had

Some days my life is like an episode of Girls.

My mother is a lovable oddball. She’s a bit naive, and a bit of a softie. Above all else, she wants to love and be loved.

She was very young when she had me and my brother, and so in a sense the three of us were raised by my grandmother, a woman I love fiercely. Gran had a very strong religious bent, and so even though mum doesn’t practice the faith, she has all the catchphrases.

A couple of years ago I was in Gisborne, visiting my mother. We were at a restaurant, the kind with low walls separating the tables and cheap plastic tablecloths. Mum, who doesn’t have any teeth, was eating a banana split.

“Gay people make me uncomfortable,” she began. “I think God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

I rolled my eyes.

“They deserve love though. They are human beings and they deserve love. It’s just not something I like.”

“Okay, mum.”

“But God made Adam and Eve.”

“Not Adam and Steve. Got it.” I waved her conversation away.

She ate her banana for a while before trying again.

“Do you have anything you want to tell me?”

I paused, puzzled. “No?”

“Because I don’t want it in my house, but I do think the gays deserve love.”

“Mum, what is this about?”

“Well, your brother said that you… I mean, you haven’t bought a man home since you were a teenager and… I mean, I don’t agree with it but…”

The table next to us stopped talking and cast quick glances our way.

“What…” I left the question hanging as she pushed the rest of the banana into her mouth. It took me a moment to click. “I’m not gay, mum.”

“Well Gavin says-”

I cut her off. My brother talks a lot of shit. “He doesn’t know anything. I’m not gay.”

“You can tell me. It’s okay.”

“If I was, I’d tell you.” I paused to watch her shovel a spoonful of cream into her mouth, losing half of it down her shirt in the process. “I just haven’t had any boyfriends that would survive meeting you.”

Stuff I like: February 2014

Here’s some things I’m loving this month!

Maincare Moisturising Nail Polish Remover Pads

I wrote about nail polish last month, and this month I’m writing about getting it off. I found these Manicare Moisturising Nail Polish Remover Pads in a pharmacy and I am sold for life!

They’re perfect for travel, and the coconut smell is a huge win over the traditional pink acetone.

While a little more expensive than the more traditional methods, at $4.99 for 32, they’re well worth the investment for the convenience. One wipe will do both feet or both hands in a couple of minutes. No more spilling acetone all over the furniture, these things are my new best friend.

This Kanye gif

Rose & Thorne lingerie

Here’s to good-fitting, well-priced, NZ designed bras and knickers!

With a wide range of sizes (10A – 20G), cute designs and free delivery in NZ, I’ve been enjoying R&T a lot since I discovered them a few months ago. The company is 100% employee-owned, they create new designs around customer feedback, and they’re doing nice things on social media, too.

Give them a go!

Nice Cream

Nice Cream is pricey, but as far as dairy-free* icecream goes: It is the business. Like Rose & Thorne, Nice Cream’s producer Tommy & James is a Kiwi company. Vanilla Bean is my favourite – there’s just the right balance between the coconut cream base and the vanilla. Mango is also a goer.

*and soy free. And gluten free. And vegan.

Deleting Candy Crush








I recently deleted Candy Crush and that was an awesome decision.

Willy Moon: Here’s Willy Moon

I heard Willy play live during X Factor NZ and really liked him, but never bothered to listen to his album. Big mistake. You’ve probably heard his track Yeah Yeah, but the whole album is full of 1950s infused rock pop running samples that sound vaguely hip hop. I swear half of them sound like Kanye had a baby with James Dean. Or, what I think that would sound like.

Here’s an example – Railway Track samples The ARC Choir’s Walk With Me, which Kanye used on Jesus Walks.

Here’s the ARC Choir

And classic Kanye

I know I’m really late to this party, but Kiwi kid dun good things.

Stuff I like: January 2014

It feels like I discover useful and fun stuff all the time, so I’ve started a new feature – the stuff I’m digging each month. It could be movies or books; music or a new gadget; an app or some miracle make up. So here’s the inaugural edition!

Wet Wipes

An oldie but a goodie. You don’t need to shell out $10 for 30 make up remover wipes: Baby wipes are about 80 for $3. I keep a couple packets around the house, one in the car, and a small packet in my handbag. They demolish spills, cool you down, clean your hands in a pinch, and get rid of stray makeup.

This gif

USB plug for your car

I picked one up for $8.99 at a service station and I haven’t looked back. Now I can charge my phone/kindle/friends phone on the go. It just fits in to your lighter/electrical point, and charges pretty quickly. If you see one of these for sale somewhere, grab it! In the same vein, if you have a chance to buy a solar powered USB charger, don’t even think twice, just buy that thing. My friend’s one saved me this summer.

flashpopL.A. Colors FlashPop

How can something that is $3 from The Warehouse be any good? Well, I don’t know how, but this nail polish is a bit of fun and actually decent.

This double-ended… thing… has the base colour at one end and a sparkly overlay on the other. Unless you’re like me – I painted four nails on each hand the base and used the sparkles for just one finger.

For a proper review – and where I ripped this images from, check out Breezy’s blog.


Linden Leaves Lip Balm

This balm has organic white tea, almond oil and manuka honey. It’s super-moisturising without being sticky, and isn’t tinted or shiny. Aaaand it is NZ made! Love love love! I won this from a raffle at the RSA at Christmastime (thanks, nana!) and I know it’s going to become a staple.

Beyonce – XO

The song of the summer, I reckon.

Great Barrier Island.

Read my post on the awesome Great Barrier.


If you’ve got any suggestions for things I should try, leave me a comment!


A Quick Escape: Great Barrier Island

Over new years I was lucky enough to go to Great Barrier Island, New Zealand’s fourth largest island, sitting in the outer Hauraki Gulf. I’d heard a little about it – that it was “off the grid” and “rustic” – but didn’t really have any expectations.

The place is gorgeous, unspoiled, vast and varied. The locals are super-friendly and the beaches are easily some of the best in the country.

If you like Waiheke, but wish there were fewer people, and more scenery, Great Barrier should be your next destination, for sure.

My top tips for the island:

Getting there: You can catch a ferry or fly, both priced around $120 one way. The car ferry, which takes walk-on passengers too, takes about four and a half hours. You can get a commuter ferry which only takes two. Do that, if you can. Also note that taxi drivers have no idea where the Sealink terminal is at North Wharf. The ferry dumps you out on the south-east tip of the island and you’ll need some way of getting to wherever you’re staying. We rented a car.

First view as you come in on the ferry
First view as you come in on the ferry

Travel: Renting a car is best. There were quite a few hitchhikers, the roads were designed by drunk circus clowns, and our lodge had a bus, but we were grateful to have our own ride. By the way, petrol is $3.30 a litre.

Eating: Food is really expensive over there, so take your own or budget extra. Bread was $6+ per loaf, and an iceblock can set you back $4. A meal out – a main and a beer – cost $45, and it wasn’t fancy. Yeoch. You can drink water from the tap, but it tastes a bit funny.

Swimming: The west coast is lovely for a relaxing dip. My favourite was Puriri Bay in Tryphena Harbour – it was awesome. The east coast beaches are a bit wilder and great for surfers, especially the Medlands. Remember to take your sunscreen and plenty of water to drink! There are hot springs in the middle of the island, it’s about a 40 minute walk in the bush to get to them.

Tryphena Harbour at sunset
Tryphena Harbour at sunset

Snorkling: Borrow or buy a cheap set and just get out there. The water on the west coast of the island is crystal clear and very calm. It’s just lovely. I wish I had done this.

Eco-island stuff: Most places run off generators or batteries, and they go on and off. Take a solar powered charger with you, and make sure your kindle is fully-charged before you leave home. Most places have tank water, so don’t expect long hot showers, and if you’re afraid of longdrops, Great Barrier is not the place for you. Most places have eftpos, but take cash with you.

Port FitzRoy takes a lot to get to, but is worth it
Port FitzRoy takes a lot to get to, but is worth it

Internet access: I was on Telecom and used 3G the whole time. The only place it was patchy was Port FitzRoy, but the locals tell me it’s because Telecom don’t put gas in their generator. Apparently Vodafone works fine.

I’d highly recommend Great Barrier Island for a getaway. I’ll be going back!

My Own Christmas Miracle

Christmas can be a really hard time of year. While some people are celebrating and spending time with family, others are struggling with finances, loneliness, or lack of things to look forward to.

My friends know that for the better part of a year, I’ve been battling depression. It’s really hard to explain to people who have never felt it, but mine comes in waves of quiet, empty nothingness which totally clean me out, leaving me stranded and gasping for air.

It became so bad that I would sneak off to the toilets at work and cry several times a day; Not because I was sad, but just because that was what my body was doing. Leaking. A lot. It was totally irrational, and weird, and a bit scary.

I knew that when I started thinking things like “there’s really no reason for me to exist,” “my life is exceedingly pointless,” and “I wonder how I can just make the world stop”, I needed to see a doctor.

It’s been a mixed bag since then. I suppose I was expecting drugs to be a cure-all, and they are not. That’s okay, life is a journey, right? But I am getting better, little bit by little bit.

Sometimes you reach a milestone, where you stop for a minute and take stock. Today when I was driving home from work, I saw a little old man walking with a little old woman – a scene that would usually have me thinking about the futility of love and aging – but I felt peaceful. I felt like in that moment all was right with the world. I felt entirely like myself again. It’s my own little Christmas miracle.

But it also got me thinking about those around me who I haven’t told about my journey. I’m ready, and I think it might help others who are struggling.

If you are suffering from depression, anxiety, dark thoughts or maybe a deep and abiding emptiness; Know that you’re not alone. Know that it can, and does, get better. You need to be very brave, and talk to a doctor or a trusted friend. Please get some help.

The holidays can be a battlefield for those of us who fight against the darkness, so arm yourself.

You are not alone.

24 Hour Telephone Counselling via Lifeline: 0800 543 354
For more information on depression, see


Everything must change
There’s a mirror showing me the ugly truth
These bones they ache with holy fire
But I’ve got nothing to give, just a life to live

If your world is without color
I will carry you, if you carry me

Every little thing’s gonna be alright


Five things that make me irrationally angry

There’s plenty of things out there to make you genuinely angry – poverty, child abuse, atom bombs – but what about first world anger?

Here’s a list of the stuff that gets my knickers in a knot.

1. SUV-owning city dwellers.

Bless, some of you are my friends, but I stand by what I’m about to say: There is no decent reason why you need an SUV. They’re big. They’re annoying. You’re not safer in them. In fact, they not only have a higher chance of killing anyone they hit, but also a much higher chance of rolling. Plus, you know, gas guzzling and shit. Oh, and while you’re super-excited about being able to see everything else on the road, no one can see around you, so they’re gonna drive a bit crazy.

The worst of it, though, is people who use a big car as a status symbol. What’s so bad in your life that you have to use an oversized vehicle to make you feel important?

See also: People who have those stick figure families on their cars. If Satan had a car, it’d have a stick figure family on it, and you’d be the mum.

2. People who rip popular content for their YouTube Channel.

I know some people do this for curation reasons, and if you have a YouTube partnership, you can claim and block those videos, but it still seems really, really rude for people to use other’s videos to drive subscriptions to their own channel.

See also: People who have exactly the same quality video as every other one but say “BEST VERSION”. Lies. All lies.

See also: Thumbnails and titles that tell you it’s a particular video, but when you click on it’s it’s a reaction video.

See also: YouTube annotations begging for thumbs up and subscriptions. Ugh.

See also: People who rip Vines to Facebook. But Vine really does need to up their game.

3. Everything about Pak n Save.

I used to work there, which is probably where it all started. I love how cheap everything is there. So cheap. But you know what I don’t love? Yellow lighting. Fruit and vege mazes. No shopping baskets. How everyone stops to chat at the end of EVERY. SINGLE. AISLE. OKAY. I HAVE TO STOP WRITING THIS NOW BECAUSE MY EYEBALLS ARE FILLING WITH BLOOD.

4. Cyclists who wear lycra at cafes.

Dude, I can see your privates. I’m just sitting here, trying to enjoy my eggs bene and you’re putting your fluoro crotch in my eyeline. Okay so *maybe* you’re in the middle of a 150km race and you stopped off at Mission Bay circa 62nd km to get a flat white and some french toast, but chances are you’re out for a ride with your lycra-clad mates and you’ve made a conscious decision to refuel in public. None of us want to see the outline of your sweaty man-appendage.

Next time I have brunch, I’m wearing a hot pink pair of leggings, I’m going to give myself atomic camel toe and I’m going to stand in front of you until you’re done.

5. Halloween.

More commercial crap so that we can spend money we probably don’t have buying things we don’t need. Also, encouraging your kids to ask strangers for lollies is redic. I get that dressing up is fun, but we still have a chance to not make Halloween a thing in New Zealand. There’s still hope for us. Don’t buy into the consumerism.

Also if any of your little shits turn up at my house begging for chocolate, I will deliberately scar them for life.

I own hot pink leggings, remember.


Sinead O’Connor’s open letter to Miley Cyrus is amazing

I love this letter from 90s pop icon Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus after Miley said she was inspired by O’Connor. It’s scathing and loving and beautiful.

Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you.

Damn straight.


Dear Miley,

I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today I’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your “Wrecking Ball” video was designed to be similar to the one for “Nothing Compares”… So this is what I need to say… And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.

I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way “cool” to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether it’s the music business or yourself doing the pimping.

Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.

I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.

The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted.. and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, “they” will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.

None of the men oggling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped.. and that includes you yourself.

Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and its associated media.

You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever.. Don’t be under any illusions.. ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty.. which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.

I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money.. we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.

You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age.. which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.

Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question.. I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. It’s really not at all cool. And it’s sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.

As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image.. whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now.. Not because you got naked but because you make great records.

Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that it’s somehow cool to be prostituted.. it’s so not cool Miley.. it’s dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. we aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers.. that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.


Miley’s responded by poking fun at Sinead’s mental health. Stay classy.


A lot of people don’t like O’Connor’s letter, calling her “matronising” and that no one asks for this level of criticism. Amanda Palmer’s weighed in, you can read her open letter here.