Cate Owen

September 6, 2013September 6, 2013

Best Tweets: August 2013

August was a busy month on the Social Media front. We certainly weren’t short of topics to discuss, nor things to whinge and joke about. This was a month of botulism scares and creepy government spying agencies. There was ‘BatFleck’, Shearer got the flick, earthquakes and marriage equality, just to name a few. We also managed to dedicate some tweets to observing and pondering the intricacies of our own existence. We affectionately laughed at family members and were (sometimes quite alarmingly) honest about our day to day lives. Here are a few of my favourite tweets from the month of August;

We’re nothing if not honest…
@SWTGallagher I think the closest to joining the mile high club I’ll ever get is having sex in the airplane at Taupo’s McDonalds…
@alexkc Going to walk into this party like I am walking onto a yacht (will wear my stepdad’s lifejacket and scream until somebody holds my hand)
@AceMcWicked That fart was so nasty that on a slower news day it would have made the front page.
@EstherMacIntyre Tried the intermittent fasting diet. At 3.30pm, ate flatmate’s toast out of the bin.
@mcquillanatorz I don’t date anyone who has less than 100% positive feedback on TradeMe #noscrubs

Nothing stranger than family…
@CyrisXD My nephew is scared of thunder. I told him that was silly considering the sun could explode any day, killing us all. I think that helped
@AceMcWicked I incorrectly claimed my cat as a human dependent in my tax return #incorrectly
@CaitlinSomers “If I could be an animal I’d be a duck – ducks can bite fingers off” sooo my brother is a sadist

Sweet and Sour Milk…
@RFStew New Zealand. The land of (tainted) milk and (fake) honey.
@ColeyTangerina my bf just came home to drink a milkshake I made which means Kelis is science.

Honourable employment…
@toryhipster Just read a Danish sonnet from 1690 about a dude jacking off. Seriously. Counting this as work. #bestjob
@NateNauer Sometimes people mistaking you for the bouncer is a good thing. “$20 cover charge please”
@BetterWorkStory An unemployed (and previously convicted) sex offender smoking a joint just told me to “get a real job.” #nzpolice
@Atomic_Moog This breach of the office chocolate biscuit policy is threatening to boil over.
@rents1 Been a lot of talk about ninjas at wk this week. If I hadn’t picked my current career that was my 2^nd choice.

Critical appointments…
@edmuzik will throw my weight behind David Cunliffe if only so we can use “Son of A Preacher Man” as the 2014 campaign jingle
@RockYourBoyce Wait…Bruce Wayne was Batman?!
@AliIkram Politics is such a tough profession. One day you’re waving around dead fish in the house of representatives. The next u r gone.

The government made it legal for Uncle Sam to become Big Brother…
@AntDCat Nixon bugged a hotel and subsequently resigned from office. Obama bugged the entire world and shrugs it off.
@TaikaWaititi Oh Mr Prime Minister, Al Qaeda is living in NZ now is it? Well in that case, yes, I permit you to spy on me while I surf the titty sites.

Marriage became a right for all! And God responded in fury with earthquakes and shit…
@ColeyTangerina Apparently a plane was struck by lightning landing in Auckland? God is really enjoying punking all the fundies on #MarriageEquality day.
@jtclassic Good luck to the same sex couples getting married in NZ today! May yours last FAR longer than my shitty straight marriage did #loveislove
@ferrouswheel What’s the most earthquake strengthened pub in Wellington? #eqnz

The Runners Up…
@joesomething_ I’m having trouble distinguishing between someone who does crossfit, and a crazy Christian preacher standing on Queen St.
@MsBeeton I don’t call it lying down, I call it landscape mode.

And the winner is…

@gtiso Billions of years from now the universe will reach heat death, and all that will be left will be a couple of grudges I’ve been holding.

@gtiso please follow our friends at @OldMoutCider to collect your delicious prize! And thanks to Ani for compiling the tweets this month! – Cate

August 7, 2013August 8, 2013

Facebook adjust their EdgeRank algorithm

Today Facebook announced changes to their news feed, in the name of transparency and ease. Arguably the most important part of Facebook, the news feed as it appears on your homepage is determined by a number of key indicators including popularity of the update, the amount you’ve interacted with that person or page historically, how many people have created a negative action against the update, and the spend attached to promoting the update.

Facebook say that on average there are 1500 potential stories that can be displayed to you every time you visit your news feed, and that means you’re going to miss a large number of them. You’ll miss more because of those filtered results, you’ll only scroll through 57% of them. The update to the algorithm means you’ll see more of those missed updates.

The early data indicates a 5% increases in engagement to posts from friends and family, and an 8% increase to engagement on organic posts from pages. The changes do not impact reach of paid spend.

As always, content is king. Creating great, timely Facebook status updates that users want to share with each other will have more impact than trying to game a feed.

“For page owners, this means their most popular organic Page posts have a higher chance of being shown to more people, even if they’re more than a few hours old,” Facebook’s Lars Backstrom said in a blog post today.

So, good news for page mangers who rely on organic reach, and hopefully a better UX for Facebook users.

August 2, 2013August 2, 2013

Best Tweets: July 2013

Compiled by Chris Hooper

Spies
@AnnaGConnell I might kill our neighbours. Turn the farking bass down. NB #GCSB I don’t mean that, it’s a faux threat commonly used to express anger.
@mcquillanatorz Defence Force to scrap journo spying rule after discovering most communications are just hilarious cat gifs

Royal Baby Fever
@CMRanapia Everytime HMQ sees the hashtags #RoyalBaby & #FunUncle together, a footman gets beaten to death with a corgi. True.
@Rose_Matafeo uh guys what if this royal baby grows up to be an asshole?
@BoganetteNZ Kate should release a statement that just says “fuck off it’ll come out when it’s good and ready”. That’s what I’d do. #royaladvice

Stay Classy, NZ
@Robbo_Junior Today’s ingenuity badge goes to the person I just ran across who named their children Sean and Shaun #winning
@THE_VONK Very difficult to take photos of topless girls on the beach. Couldn’t do it without making it obvious.
@pinkdeedle Is a nose orgasm a thing? Cos I think I just had one.
‏@kittengloves Guess that smell. And other fun bus games. FML.
@vegrandis If you’re going to try serve cheese at fridge temperature without any quince paste or a charcuterie, u can go ahead & throw it in the bin.

Life
@chizchizchiz i was having an okay day and then i remembered something dumb i did 3 years ago and now i hate myself forever
@Kiwi_Chatter I had to explain to a tourist that Palmerston North wasn’t destroyed in an earthquake. It just looks a bit shit.
@CyrisXD You never truly know someone until you see their bag of chips getting caught in a vending machine.
@markleggett Nice try, Henry Cavill, but I’m still straight.
@ggsacks Every time my boyfriend doesn’t tweet for more than 3 hours I assume death. Oh well, we had a good run.

Because, cute.
@lmfbs 17yo boy comes out to a bunch of other boys while they’re all in speedos. Gets hugs and “bro, doesn’t even matter, we love you anyway” <3

This week’s winner is @Kiwi_Chatter for his work keeping New Zealand tourism alive and kicking. Follow Old Mout Cider to get your delicious, delicious goodies.

Chris Hooper

July 21, 2013November 17, 2013

I am awesome, and so are you!

In our day-to-day lives, we are bombarded with the images of “perfect” people who we will never be. People who look a certain way, act a certain way, have their lives seemingly sorted – all the things you think you’re not. It’s easy for the world to beat you down and tell you you’re shit, so who doesn’t need encouragement every now and again?

Inspired by GoKaleo’s blog, I put a call out for people to contribute to our own version of “I am awesome and so are you!” – thank you to these brave people who sent me their photos and messages. I hope they touch you as much as they did me.

July 18, 2013September 16, 2013

One simple diagram for getting your brand’s social content right

So you have a branded social media account, and you’re following the first rule of social: Don’t be a dick. Good, but now what?

There’s lots of advice floating around about what content works well on which platforms – making sure your Facebook status is “likeable”, joining in on a Twitter conversation, hashtagging your Instagrams up the ying – but for me, it boils down to this wee venn diagram:

The red circle is about finding out what your audience likes – seems straightforward, but are you sure you know what they like, and not what you think they like? What is it about your audience that is unique?

The blue circle is about being on brand. It’s about promotions and marketing. It’s about the look and feel of updates. It’s about getting the core message of your company across.

The yellow circle is about what works best online. What topics are going off at the moment? Where is the conversation – what is it about? What are today’s memes?

A lot of companies stay in one content type. They may even cross over with another circle, but spend a lot of time delivering one sort of update, to the detriment of the community or their brand. Your brand should never just live in one of those circles. If your marketing push doesn’t exist for the community, it’s not right for social. If your viral content is totally off brand, you’re wasting your time.

Doing updates from sections 1, 2, or 3 is a slightly better option.

Living in section 1 means the content they’re using is engaging, and their fans like it, but it doesn’t reflect the brand. Generic status updates like this are fine, but often your brand can get lost, or there may even be a conflict between the values of your brand, and the content you’re posting.

Section 2 is where you’ve found the niche in terms of what works for your brand, and your audience, but the content isn’t necessarily viral. This is a good place to be in terms of brand hygiene, but not so much in terms of outreach, and fan endorsement.

If your updates are in section 3, you’re producing on-brand content that ticks the box in terms of being viral or engaging in nature, but that doesn’t resonate with your fans. It could be that you’re using the meme too late (remember all those brands that put out Harlem Shake videos the week after everyone declared it dead? Yeah, that.)

The golden space is section 4. You’ve found content that fits with your brand, your audience loves it, and it’s positioned well to go off. And it does! Well done, you. Hope your boss recognises how hard it is to find that sweet spot!

So… How did that happen?

You know your brand – it has a clear voice and take on the world, and you’ve stamped it onto your update.
You’ve identified what it is about your brand that your fans love and delivered it to them.
You’ve reflected the sentiment of your community in a timely manner, or rarked them up in a good way.
The community can take ownership – you just got the ball rolling!

Yes, it’s simplistic, but it works.

July 5, 2013

Best Tweets: June 2013

This month is bought to you by @DanRockNZ, so any of you that follow him would expect this to have a heavy sport and beer focus… but no!

There is however a fair bit of X Factor involved…

X Factor
@Hilary_Barry Oh hurry up – we picked our kids names quicker than this #xfactornz
@josephmoore1 Rosita Vai on backup!!! Also: Michael Murphy is the X Factor janitor and Ben Lummis drives the #xfactornz contestant bus.
@toryhipster Please can crimping not be a thing I don’t think I can live through this #xfactornz
@pinkdeedle I like to think Ruby’s lady garden is pink and crimped with glitter. #xfactornz
@cam667 Covering a cover, of a cover. #XFactorInception #XFactorNZ

Stay Classy NZ
@AniOBrien The chef on 24 Hours In A&E who accidentally stabbed himself is kinda sexy.
@NathanWinter75 I’m addicted to wanking puns..hopefully I can beat it..touch wood. #toosoon
@kaanivorous Got my onesie today. It’s a bit snug in the crotch. Can’t really put my hood on.
@DramaQueenNZ Embarrassing! I just tried putting my hair in a scrunchy only to find it was DiLs gstring! Either I need glasses or she needs bigger panties

Addicted much?
@simon_w I’m getting a massage and tweeting with my nose!
@lucymk Just seen a picture of Macds Hashbrowns on Instagram. Hashtagged. #HASHtagged. My life is complete.

The female of the species
@wendypooh Remind me again how I get smelly girl pit stink out of my tops?
@ohsarahrose Panicked that I’d left my glasses at home. Then realised I could see so um I hadn’t.
@SiobhanKeoghNZ I consider myself an intelligent, articulate woman, right up until the point that I see a puppy in my peripheral vision.
@melhomer If electric blankets could put the bins out and tell us we’re beautiful, we wouldn’t need men. Fact.

Parents are the best contraception
@JaneYee 5.15am start to the day. Who designed these little creatures?
@pinkdeedle Kids are pretty much just grubby, money taking alarm clocks.

Just Because it’s true
@runningwhio The problem I think is that we keep saying things like ‘the country needs your opinion’. I’ve read the comments. It really fucking doesn’t.

And my winner is @runningwhio – because if you’ve actually read the comments, you’re going to need a drink! Don’t forget to follow @OldMoutCider for your treat.

Regards,

Daniel Rock

June 8, 2013June 8, 2013

Best Tweets: May 2013

Compiled by Moata Tamaira

It’s hard to believe that there was a time when we weren’t all tweeting the mother-loving tartan out of The X Factor yet it was only in May that this guilty pleasure was birthed unto a breathless (and sarky) nation. And while it wasn’t officially winter, there wasn’t much in it.

It’s cold so we’re starting our winter eating early
BrenaSmith It’s just me who licks the inside of maggi gravy packets right?
Jaiemem Love is having a Ferrero Rocher unwrapped for you because you’re too lazy to do it yourself.
Beanbiz GCSB? Pah! Mighty River Power? Pfft! Solid Energy job losses? Buh. They’re bringing back PIES?!?! Ding ding ding!!! #trending #NZ
APConlan Having Georgie Pie now will be like finally getting together with the pretty girl from high school who now has syphilis.

Central heating and weaponry. So much more to librarianship than you thought.
CherylBernstein “Mum, when I’m in Year 6 I think I’ll aim to be a school librarian rather than a crossing guard. The library’s really well heated.”
Paulbrislen Saw a policeman at Welly airport who was shorter and skinnier than me. Looked like a librarian. A librarian with a Glock

Two sides of the same helpdesk coin?
AristotlesNZ Hi. We noticed you Googled “How do I keep IT from seeing my browser history” yesterday at 3:21pm. How’d that work out for you?
_surlymermaid I would punch a nun in the face for a gin and tonic and an IT support team not made up of smug men

I can’t figure out if Twitter makes X Factor better or the other way round
Crabbs Disappointed in the song choices, #xfactornz. Was hoping for at least one rendition of ‘Groinal Screwdriver Punch’ by Head Like A Hole.
Officialfunning He does a good Every Pakeha Dad, I’ll give him that #tom #xfactornz
RobynGallagher It’s like a dream – if the dream is hanging out on a tropical island with a hyperactive man dressed like a tablecloth. #xfactornz
MartynPepperell I wish #XFactorNZ was a series of auditions for new mutants to join the X-Men.
DanielsTrousers Dan’s secret mentor trick is making the girls put me on & walk down Queen St. When they no longer feel shame, they’re ready. #xfactornz
neilmullanefinn I think it is possible to be funny without being cruel but x factor does make it harder.

Parenthood. It’s not a word. It’s a sentence.
DamianChristie You know you’re a Dad when you point out the car window and yell “digger!” even when your son’s not with you. Taxi driver appreciated it tho
LewStoddart Anyone who wants to argue that kid’s TV is not educational is invited to talk about dinosaurs with my two preschoolers for 3 or 4 hours.
Lucymk 3yo: Mum! A pukey cow! It’s a pukey cow!! Me: What?? Where? 3yo: LOOK a pukey cow! *shows toy* Me: … OH! THAT’s a kiwi – not a pukeko 🙂
Hilary_Barry Tried to remember it was the thought that counted when son gave me a Xmas card for Mother’s Day yesterday and wrote Happy Birthday inside.

Miscellaneous tweets of delight
LukeAppley Remember, if you’re going out today and you get stuck, cut open your Tauntaun and sleep inside it for warmth
Petrajane ‘Harry’ is a remarkably accurate portrayal of Auckland, in that you can’t go 5min without seeing someone who used to be on Shortland Street.
TimWilsonBarrio Business idea: ‘The Hipster Bible’… featuring only the chapters which reference beards.
Vegrandis I’m sure food at a 5 star Michelin resturant is good but I know nothing will taste as good as the sad tears of your ex’s current partner.
Tarquin_Death Googling “find my google doc” is embarrassing. Tempted to use Bing so Google doesn’t judge me
Kebabette Word is there is a new #chch Roller Derby team called “The Gilmore Girls”. Their uniform is a fucktard.

This month’s tweet of the month ultimate cagefight winner is… _surlymermaid because we’ve all been there, am I right? I know it’s not a gin and tonic but hopefully you’ll enjoy your Old Mout Cider enough that no further nuns need be pummelled.

Many thanks to everyone who favourited and nominated their favourite tweets. Sorry if I didn’t pick your one, they were all pretty awesome.

Many thanks to Cate for letting me play Tweet-Factor judge for this month.

@moatatamaira

May 9, 2013May 9, 2013

When Bank meets Banksy: BNZ launches Story Art

As part of the 2013 BNZ Literary Awards, sponsor BNZ have come up with a novel way to promote the short story competition they’ve been running for a few years now.

The competition, in which writers create tiny 150 word masterpieces, lends itself perfectly to social media platforms – everyone has a Facebook friend who posts status updates longer than that! (If you can’t think of one, chances are it’s you.)

Given that social platforms are becoming more image-based (think Pinterest and Instagram!), it’s pretty ingenious that the bank have created an app that turns the short stories into art, to be shared back to the platforms.

It may just be the quirky and fun incentive needed to get people out of their shells and writing. After all, it’s not every day your writing becomes art.

I especially appreciate the time taken by the BNZ to create this word art out of a particularly intelligent tweet of mine.

Have a play here: www.bnzstoryart.co.nz

And if you’re looking for some tips on getting started: http://www.bnz.co.nz/static/www/docs/la/2013-BNZLA-Graeme-Beattie-SSS-writing-tips.pdf

Oh, and before you think I was clever when I came up with that title; Nope! That’s all on Tarquin_Death.